Friday Office Humor From “The Book Of Rules”: Job Interview Tips

Job Interview Tips

Prior experience, education and interview etiquette are the three most important factors by which managers evaluate and select new employees. Managers use the interview process to ascertain the interpersonal skills of an applicant. A job candidate’s character is almost always determined by the success of the interview.

A. Always be punctual for the interview. Arriving late demonstrates an individual’s belief that his or her time is more important than the interviewer’s time.
B. Dress slightly better for the interview than potential future co-workers.
C. Avoid discussing salary or wages unless specifically prompted by the interviewer.
D. Answer all questions honestly and concisely. Make eye con- tact throughout the interview process.
E. Tattoos and body piercings shall never be visible during the interview. Unfortunately, this will require certain individuals to attend job interviews wearing a bag over their head.
F. Overtly personal statements may negatively impact the interview and are discouraged.

PHRASEOLOGY EXAMPLE: “I know your daughter, Julia, is dismissed at 3:40 from McCartney Elementary School on West 14th Street, and I would like a job please.”

BOR 12-3. Tattoos and body piercings shall never be visible during the interview.

 

The Book of Rules (modern etiquette)From The Book of Rules: The Right Way to do Everything, a handbook on modern etiquette covering everything from proper toilet paper placement to acceptable pimple popping practices to authorized use of wind chimes.

3 thoughts on “Friday Office Humor From “The Book Of Rules”: Job Interview Tips

  1. Speider Schneider

    G. Start to tell a long, rambling story of when you were in the war, going into crude, bloody detail and how you were the only survivor of your unit and how it haunts you every day of your life. Make sure you mention there are several words that, if uttered by coworkers, will set you off in murderous rage as you were trained to kill but never deprogrammed when put back onto the street. Then finish the story by yelling, “NO! LOOK OUT FOR THAT RPG!” and scream really loud and long.

    Close your eyes, breath deeply, and, in a composed tone, tell the interviewer that your military experience has made you a great leader and people person and you doubt that more then 6% of your staff will die horribly. Then just show up the next day and sit at an empty desk. No one will tell you that you didn’t get the job.

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